Inner Child Your Partner
By Jelaila Starr
Written January 24, 2001
As a spiritual counselor, I have had the honor and privilege of working with veteran Lightworkers. What I mean is that they have been on the spiritual path for 15 years or more. One lady in her 90s had been on the path for over 70 years. When I work with these individuals I have to fight my feelings of inadequacy…I have only been on the path for 7 years. I ask myself, “Who am I to counsel people that know far more than I?” I feel like a child talking to an adult.
Without exception, when I do counsel with these highly enlightened individuals, I find they have the same challenge, they do not have a clear communication link with their guides and they cannot seem to manifest what they want to manifest. One gentleman said to me, “Jelaila, I use intentions, I visualize having the thing in my life that I desire, I use daily affirmations, I have done emotional clearing, etc, etc. but still I cannot manifest my desire. What am I missing, what am I doing wrong?” They are frustrated, desperately trying to hold on to their faith in the spiritual path and themselves. My heart aches for them.
So I ask, “Have you done any Inner Child work?” Invariably they answer, “Yes, I have and I feel I completed that healing years ago.” I reply, “Well, perhaps then, it is time to go to the next step and begin working with the Inner Child as a partner. Perhaps there is another level of healing that can only be accomplished once you have reached the point in your spiritual evolution where you can now understand and use it.” What do you think? Usually there is silence on the other end of the line as they contemplate my questions. Then they reply, “Well, I’m willing to look at it but I can’t see how Inner Child work could be the answer to my manifestation and communication problems.” Once again I fight my feelings of inadequacy in the face of such knowledgeable people and say, “It is not that you are doing anything wrong, in fact, you are doing everything right, but there is one thing that is missing and that is what we will discuss today. Agreed?” “Yes, yes, they say in a voice filled with hope and excitement, that would be wonderful.” That missing piece is the subject of this article and what I wish to share with you today.
Are you frustrated that you cannot manifest your desires no matter how many affirmations, verbal intentions and creative visualization techniques you use? Are you beginning to feel that all those hours spent in workshops learning how to manifest were of little value after all? Are you frustrated that after all your years of emotional clearing and spiritual training, you cannot hear and speak clearly with your guides or still doubt that you hear and therefore fear to trust what you hear? Well there is an answer and that answer is the Inner Child and your relationship with him or her.
Now you may ask, “Why would the Inner Child be the answer to my manifestation and communication issues? How could my relationship, or lack thereof, be behind my inability to hear and see my guides and manifest my dreams? Well, let’s take a look at that. In order to explain this concept, there is some background information needed.
The Inner Child, from my understanding, is the part of You, the conscious part of you that is reading this article, which exists in your mind. He/she is that innocent part of you that is much like a child, so much so in fact that we call it the Inner Child. The Inner Child is trusting, loving, playful and free. But there is another side to the Inner Child. That side is what I have come to call the Ego. The Ego, to me, is the Dark side of the Inner Child and, I might add, has great value. Why is explained next.
The Ego or Dark side of the Inner Child, is part of a threesome. That threesome is You, the Self, your Soul or Higher Self and your Inner Child (see the Soul/Ego/Self Partnership, the 3rd Key of Compassion booklet for more information). Together all three of you move through your current incarnation toward the goals for spiritual growth that you chose before you came into this life. It is also my understanding that spiritual growth is the primary reason souls choose to incarnate.
Within that threesome, the Ego is the one who protects your physical body. Where the Inner Child is free, playful and innocent, it’s Dark side or lower chakra side, is the one that seeks to keep you safe from harm. Harm includes both emotional and physical harm with the main form of harm being pain. Now this might be a stretch for those of you who have not read the Multidimensional Keys of Compassion booklets or any of my other articles on this subject so please keep an open mind and bear with me if and until you do.
As I have explained many times, I have come to understand that the Inner Child/Ego sees itself as the physical vehicle and just like any child will do whatever it takes to protect itself from harm. To explain the concept of the Inner Child and the Ego being the same, I often use the analogy of a 5-year old being thrown out into the streets of New York to survive on its own. It won’t take long before that playful, innocent and loving child learns to steal, cheat, and fight to protect itself. It learns to use fear to protect itself.
To me, the Ego is the summation of all the survival instincts of the Inner Child. And I believe that without those survival instincts and skills, that 5-year old would quickly die on the streets, hence the value of the Ego. In our lives it is the Ego part of the Inner Child that keeps us safe from harm, and in its efforts to protect us, it can block us if it feels that something we are attempting to do will create harm.
There is one thing that the Inner Child/Ego fears more than anything else…your rejection. You see, the Inner Child/Ego sees You, the Self as his/her parent. As a result, your rejection can have a powerful affect on him. Just think of what it is like when you get rejected by your mother or father. It can strike you to your core. How many times have you found yourself living your life to please your parents or get their approval in some way? How many of you reading this article have discovered through your emotional clearing work that you subconsciously made major life choices such as your choice of career or spouse, or what college you attended just to please your parents? Pretty astounding, huh? Well, the Inner Child/Ego does the same thing. The Inner Child lives for your acceptance and its Dark side, the Ego will do whatever it has to do to be loved and accepted by You.
How do we reject our Inner Child? We do so through:
Let’s look at the first one. Negative self-talk is very damaging to the Inner Child/Ego. When we say things such as “I’m stupid” or “How could I have been so dumb?” we are actually saying that to our Inner Child/Ego. He/she hears it as “You’re stupid” or “How could you have been so dumb.” When you were a child, how did you feel when or parents said those things to you? Didn’t it cut you to the core and make you feel as though you were worthless? Did you still feel loved by your parents at that moment? Did you still feel that you were accepted and valuable? How you felt back then is just exactly how your Inner Child feels when you use negative self-talk. This is why it is so destructive.
What does the Inner Child/Ego do when we use negative self-talk? He or she will seek to avoid, block or eliminate the thing that is causing the pain that creates the desire for negative self-talk. So for example, if you are trying to change careers and in the past that choice has failed, with the outcome being that you say to yourself, “How could I have been so stupid as to think I could change careers?” the Inner Child/Ego will block any attempt to change careers. Does this make sense?
Secondly, we hurt our Inner Child/Ego when we needlessly defend ourselves in the face of conflict. Many people confuse defending oneself, i.e., standing up for oneself with defending one’s right to be. Here’s an example. My mother says to me when I inform her that I will not be home for the holidays because I have chosen to spend them with my friends, “How could you be so selfish?” When I stand up for myself I say, “You have a right to your opinion, Mom.” If I needlessly defend myself, I say, “I’m not being selfish; there’s no law that states I have to spend every Christmas dinner with you!” or something to that effect. Do you see the difference? Each time we needlessly defend ourselves we are trying to get the other person’s approval and therefore give our power away. We also send the message that they are right and we are wrong, making it necessary to defend our position. If we are truly standing in our truth, we have no need to defend that truth to anyone, do we?
When we needlessly defend, we leave our Inner Child vulnerable to attack. I use the analogy of a nurse guarding the infant prince/princess in the castle turret. There are windows on all sides except for one small area where the cradle resides. Each time we react to someone’s accusations we (the nurse) leave the side of the infant/Inner Child/Ego and rush to the window where the intruder/accuser is trying to get in, leaving the infant vulnerable to attack. If we allow others to feel whatever feelings they have regarding our position/choices, we never leave the side of the infant and they remain safe and secure.
Now that we have seen why the Inner Child/Ego would block us and what we do to create the perceived need for that blockage, let’s look at what we can do to make the Inner Child/Ego our partner in our daily life and thus resolve this issue so that the Inner Child/Ego will stop blocking our attempts to communicate with our guides and manifest our desires.
When I explained this concept and the steps for working with the Inner Child/Ego to my veteran Lightworker clients, they were amazed. In all their work, they had never come across this concept of making the Inner Child their partner. Some were a little skeptical but they all agreed to give it a shot. Once they began to do it they were thrilled with how much easier it was to manifest and were finally able to communicate with their guides. After a few months they reported that the partnership gave them a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. One woman reported, “Now I realize that my Inner Child/Ego is a real part of me…I feel so loved!
These ideas are higher dimensional concepts and therefore will only make sense to those who are ready to embrace multidimensionality in its fullest. I hope they help you.
The Nibiruan Council
Additional Reading - Articles:
Are the Inner Child and the
Ego the Same?
Give the Inner Child a Say
Additional Reading - Booklets: The Soul/Ego/Self Partnership, 3rd, Multidimensional Key of Compassion; The Open Door, 4th Multidimensional Key of Compassion
Keth Luke, editor, Jan Carter, Dr Light and our Cosmic, ET, Earthly Crew