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   Light Discovered after his Death


Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death
experience in 1982.  He was dead for over an hour and a half
and during that time, he rose up out of his body and went into
the Light. Curious about the universe, he was taken far into the
remote depths of existence, and even beyond, into the energetic
Void of Nothingness behind the Big Bang. Concerning his
near-death experience, Dr. Kenneth Ring has said, "His story
is one of the most remarkable I have encountered in my
extensive research on near-death experiences."


In 1982 I died from terminal cancer.  The condition I had was
inoperable, and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me
would just have made me more of a vegetable.  I was given six
to eight months to live. I had been an information freak in the
1970's, and I had become increasingly despondent over the
nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth.  

So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe
that nature had made a mistake, and that we were probably
a cancerous organism on the planet.  I saw no way that we
could get out from all the problems we had created for
ourselves and the planet.  I perceived all humans as cancer,
and that is what I got.  That is what killed me.  Be careful
what your world view is. It can feed back on you, especially
if it is a negative world view.  I had a seriously negative one. 
That is what led me into my death.  I tried all sorts of
alternative healing methods, but nothing helped.

So I determined that this was really just between me and
God.  I had never really faced God before, or even dealt with
God.  I was not into any kind of spirituality at the time, but I
began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative
healing. I set out to do all the reading I could and bone up
on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on the
other side.  So I started reading on various religions and
philosophies.  They were all very interesting, and gave hope
that there was something on the other side.

On the other hand, as a self-employed stained-glass artist at
the time, I had no medical insurance whatsoever.  So my life
savings went overnight in testing.   Then I was facing the
medical profession without any kind of insurance.  I did
not want to have my family dragged down financially, so I
determined to handle this myself.  There was not constant
pain, but there were black-outs.  I got so that I would not
dare to drive, and eventually I ended up in hospice care.

I had my own personal hospice caretaker.  I was very blessed
by this angel who went through the last part of this with me. I
lasted about eighteen months.  I did not want to take a lot of
drugs, since I wanted to be as conscious as possible.  Then I
experienced such pain that I had nothing but pain in my
consciousness, luckily only for a few days at a time.


I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30
am, and I just knew that this was it.  This was the day I was
going to die.  So I called a few friends and said goodbye.  I
woke up my hospice caretaker and told her.  I had a private
agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone
for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting
things happen when you die.  I went back to sleep. 

The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical
near-death experience.  Suddenly I was fully aware and I
was standing up, but my body was in the bed.  There was this
darkness around me.   Being out of my body was even more
vivid than ordinary experience.  It was so vivid that I could see
every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I
could see around the house, I could see under the house.

There was this Light shining.   I turned toward the Light.
The Light was very similar to what many other people
have described in their near-death experiences.  It was so
magnificent.   It is tangible; you can feel it.  It is alluring;
you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal
mother's or father's arms.  As I began to move toward the
Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be
dead.   So as I was moving toward the Light I said, "Please
wait a minute, just hold on a second here.  I want to think
about this;  I would like to talk to you before I go." 

To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. 
You are indeed in control of your near-death experience. You
are not on a roller coaster ride.  So my request was honored
and I had some conversations with the Light.  The Light kept
changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna,
mandalas, archetypal images and signs.  I asked the Light,
"What is going on here?  Please, Light, clarify yourself for
me.  I really want to know the reality of the situation."  I
cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of

The Light responded.  The information transferred to me was
that your beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting
before the Light.  If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or
Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff.
You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most people
do not. As the Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that
what I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix. 

The only thing I can tell you is that it turned into a matrix, a
mandala of human souls, and what I saw was that what we call
our Higher Self in each of us is a matrix.  It's also a conduit
to the Source; each one of us comes directly, as a direct
experience from the Source.  We all have a Higher Self, or an
oversoul part of our being.  It revealed itself to me in its truest
energy form.  The only way I can really describe it is that the
being of the Higher Self is more like a conduit.  It did not
look like that, but it is a direct connection to the Source that
each and every one of us has.  We are directly connected to
the Source. 

So the Light was showing me the Higher Self matrix.  And
it became very clear to me that all the Higher Selves are
connected as one being, all humans are connected as one
being, we are actually the same being, different aspects of the
same being.  It was not committed to one particular religion.
So that is what was being fed back to me. And I saw this
mandala of human souls.  It was the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.  I just went into it and, it was just over-
whelming.  It was like all the love you've every wanted,
and it was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates.

As I asked the Light to keep explaining, I understood what
the Higher Self matrix is.  We have a grid around the planet
where all the Higher Selves are connected. This is like a great
company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit
level, you might say. Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked
for more clarification.  I really wanted to know what the
universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time.  I said
"I am ready, take me."  Then the Light turned into the most
beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human
souls on this planet. 

Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happen
on the planet.  So as I asked the light to keep clarifying for
me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how beautiful we all
are in our essence, our core.  We are the most beautiful
creations.  The human soul, the human matrix that we all
make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, every-
thing.  I just cannot say enough about how it changed
my opinion of human beings in that instant. 

I said, "Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are."   At
any level, high or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the
most beautiful creation, you are.  I was astonished to find that
there was no evil in any soul.  I said "How can this be?"  The
answer was that no soul was inherently evil.  The terrible
things that happened to people might make them do evil things,
but their souls were not evil.  What all people seek, what
sustains them, is love, the Light told me.  What distorts people
is a lack of love.

The revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and
on, then I asked the Light, "Does this mean that humankind
will be saved?"  Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of
spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke, saying, "Remember this
and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself.  You
always have.  You always will.  You were created with the
power to do so from before the beginning of the world."

In that instant I realized even more.  I realized that WE HAVE
ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved ourselves because
we were designed to self-correct like the rest of God's
universe.  This is what the second coming is about.  I
thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing
I could come up with was these simple words of totally
appreciation:  "Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self,
I love my Life." 

The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply.  It was
as if the Light was completely absorbing me.   The Love
Light is, to this day, indescribable.  I entered into another
realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of
something more, much more.  It was an enormous stream of
Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of Life.  I asked what
this was.

The Light responded, "This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink
of this manna water to your heart's content." So I did.  I took
one big drink and then another.  To drink of Life Itself!  I
was in ecstasy.

Then the Light said, "You have a desire."  The Light knew all
about me, everything past, present and future.

"Yes!" I whispered.

I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar
system, beyond all human illusion.  The Light then told
me that I could go with the Stream.  I did, and was carried
through the Light at the end of the tunnel.  I felt and heard
a series of very soft sonic booms.  What a rush!


Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet
on this stream of Life.  I saw the earth fly away. The solar
system, in all its splendor, whizzed by and disappeared.  At
faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy,
absorbing more knowledge as I went.  I learned that this
galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different
varieties of LIFE.  I saw many worlds.   The good news is
that we are not alone in this Universe! 

As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of
the galaxy, the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves
of energy.  The super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient
wisdom flew by.  At first I thought I was going somewhere;
actually traveling.  But then I realized that, as the stream was
expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding to take
in everything in the Universe!  All creation passed by me.  It
was an unimaginable wonder!  I truly was a Wonder Child; a
babe in Wonderland!

It seemed as if all the creations in the Universe soared by
me and vanished in a speck of Light.  Almost immediately,
a second Light appeared.  It came from all sides, and was so
different; a Light made up of more than every frequency in
the Universe.  I felt and heard several velvety sonic booms
again.  My consciousness, or being, was expanding to
interface with the entire Holographic Universe and more. 

As I passed into the second Light, the awareness came to
me that I had just transcended the Truth.  Those are the best
words I have for it, but I will try to explain. As I passed into
the second Light, I expanded beyond the First Light.  I found
myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence.  I could see
or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity.

I was in the Void.

I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang.  I had crossed over
the beginning of time - the First Word - the First vibration. 
I was in the Eye of Creation.  I felt as if I was touching the
Face of God.  It was not a religious feeling.  Simply I was at
one with Absolute Life and Consciousness.

When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that
I could experience all of creation generating itself.   It was
without beginning and without end.  That's a mind-expanding
thought, isn't it?  Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single
event which created the Universe.  I saw that the Big Bang
is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating
Universes endlessly and simultaneously.  The only images
that even come close in human terms would be those created
by supercomputers using fractal geometry equations.

The ancients knew of this.   They said Godhead periodically
created new Universes by breathing out, and de-creating other
Universes by breathing in. These epochs were called Yugas. 
Modern science called this the Big Bang.  I was in absolute,
pure consciousness.  I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs
or Yugas creating and de-creating themselves. Instantly I
entered into them all simultaneously.  I saw that each and
every little piece of creation has the power to create.  It is very
difficult to try to explain this.  I am still speechless about this.

It took me years after I returned to assimilate any words at all
for the Void experience.  I can tell you this now; the Void is
less than nothing, yet more than everything that is!  The Void
is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities.  It is
Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal

Where is the Void?  I know. The Void is inside and outside
everything.  You, right now even while you live, are always
inside and outside the Void simultaneously.  You don't have
to go anywhere or die to get there.  The Void is the vacuum
or nothingness between all physical manifestations.  The
SPACE between atoms and their components. 

Modern science has begun to study this space between
everything. They call it Zero-point.  Whenever they try to
measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity,
so to speak.  They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity
accurately.  There is more of the zero space in your own
body and the Universe than anything else!

What mystics call the Void is not a void.  It is so full of
energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything
that we are.  Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from
the first Word, which is the first vibration.  The biblical "I
am" really has a question mark after it.  "I am - What am I?"

So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way
imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every
one of us.  Through every piece of hair on your head, through
every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring
God's Self, the great "I am".  I began to see that everything
that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is
the great Self.  That is why God knows even when a leaf
falls.  That is possible because wherever you are is the center
of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the
universe.  There is God in that, and God in the Void.

As I was exploring the Void and all the Yugas or creations, I
was completely out of time and space as we know it.  In this
expanded state, I discovered that creation is about Absolute
Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of
Life as we know it.  The Void itself is devoid of experience.
It is pre-life, before the first vibration.  Godhead is about
more than Life and Death.  Therefore there is even more than
Life and Death to experience in the Universe!

I was in the Void and I was aware of everything that had
ever been created.  It was like I was looking out of God's
eyes.   I had become God.  Suddenly I wasn't me anymore. 
The only thing I can say, I was looking out of God's eyes. 
And suddenly I knew why every atom was, and I could see
everything.  The interesting point was that I went into the
Void, I came back with this understanding that God is not
there.  God is here.  That's what it is all about. 

So this constant search of the human race to go out and find
God ... God gave everything to us, everything is here - this is
where it's at.  And what we are into now is God's exploration
of God through us.   People are so busy trying to become
God that they ought to realize that we are already God and
God is becoming us.  That's what it is really about.

When I realized this, I was finished with the Void, and wanted
to return to this creation, or Yuga.  It just seemed like the
natural thing to do.  Then I suddenly came back through the
second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet
booms.  I rode the stream of consciousness back through
all of creation, and what a ride it was!  The super clusters of
galaxies came through me with even more insights.

I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black
hole.  Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the
Universe.   Do you know what is on the other side of a Black
Hole?  We are; our galaxy; which has been reprocessed from
another Universe.  In its total energy configuration, the galaxy
looked like a fantastic city of lights.  All energy this side of
the Big Bang is light.  Every sub-atom, atom, star, planet, even
consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency
and/or particle.  Light is living stuff.   Everything is made
of light, even stones.  So everything is alive.   Everything is
made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.


As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge
Light coming.  I knew it was the First Light; the Higher Self
Light Matrix of our solar system. Then the entire solar system
appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet

I saw that the solar system we live in is our larger, local
body.  This is our local body and we are much bigger than we
imagine.  I saw that the solar system is our body.  I am a part
of this, and the earth is this great created being that we are, and
we are the part of it that knows that it is.  But we are only that
part of it.  We are not everything, but we are that part of it that
knows that it is.

I could see all the energy that this solar system generates,
and it is an incredible light show!  I could hear the Music
of the Spheres.  Our solar system, as do all celestial bodies,
generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory
energies. Advanced civilizations from other star systems can
spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or
energy matrix imprint.  It is child's play.  The earth's Wonder
Child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now,
like children playing in the backyard of the universe.

I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light.  I felt
embraced by the Light as it took me in with its breath again,
followed by another soft sonic boom.

I was in this great Light of Love with the stream of life
flowing through me.  I have to say again, it is the most loving,
non-judgmental Light.  It is the ideal parent for this Wonder

"What now?" I wondered.

The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are
immortal beings.  We have already been alive forever!  I
realized that we are part of a natural living system that recycles
itself endlessly.   I was never told that I had to come back.  I
just knew that I would.  It was only natural, from what I had

I don't know how long I was with the Light, in human time.
But there came a moment when I realized that all my questions
had been answered and my return was near.  When I say that
all my questions were answered on the other side, I mean to
say just that.  All my questions have been answered.  Every
human has a different life and set of questions to explore. 
Some of our questions are Universal, but each of us is
exploring this thing we call Life in our own unique way.  So
is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on
every tree.

And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe.
Because it all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of
Life.  We are literally God exploring God's Self in an infinite
Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of Life.

  His return to earth

As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my
mind, nor was I told, that I would return to the same body.  It
just did not matter.  I had complete trust in the Light and the
Life process.  As the stream merged with the great Light, I
asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what
I had learned on the other side.

There was a "Yes".   It felt like a kiss to my soul.

Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory
realm again.  The whole process reversed, with even more
information being given to me.  I came back home, and I
was given lessons on the mechanics of reincarnation.  I was
given answers to all those little questions I had:   "How does
this work?  How does that work?"  I knew that I would be
reincarnated.  The earth is a great processor of energy, and
individual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of

I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was
happy to be that. From what I have seen, I would be happy
to be an atom in this universe.  An atom.  So to be the human
part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing.  It is a
blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can
be.  For each and every one of us to be the human part of this
experience is awesome, and magnificent.  Each and every one
of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing
to the planet, right where we are.

So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a
baby somewhere.  But I was given a lesson on how individual
identity and consciousness evolve.  So I reincarnated back
into this body.  I was so surprised when I opened my eyes. 
I do not know why, because I understood it, but it was still
such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room with
someone looking over me crying her eyes out.  It was my
hospice caretaker.  She had given up an hour and a half after
finding me dead. She was sure I was dead; all the signs of
death were there - I was getting stiff. 

We do not know how long I was dead, but we do know that it
was an hour and a half since I was found.  She honored my
wish to have my newly dead body left alone for a few hours
as much as she could.  We had an amplified stethoscope and
many ways of checking out the vital functions of the body to
see what was happening.  She can verify that I really was
dead.  It was not a near-death experience.  I experienced
death itself for at least an hour and a half.   She found me
dead and checked the stethoscope, blood pressure and heart
rate monitor for an hour and a half.  Then I awakened and
saw the light outside.  I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out
of the bed.  She heard a loud "clunk", ran in and found me on
the floor.

When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed
about what had happened to me.  At first all the memory of
the trip that I have now was not there.  I kept slipping out of
this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?"  This world seemed
more like a dream than that one.  Within three days, I was
feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever
felt in my life.  My memory of the journey came back later. 
I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever
seen.  Before that I was really judgmental.  I thought a lot of
people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody
was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that.

About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so
I went and got the scans and so forth.  I really felt good, so I
was afraid of getting bad news.  I remember the doctor at the
clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying, "Well, there
is nothing here now."  I said, "Really, it must be a miracle?"
He said "No, these things happen, they are called spontaneous
remission."  He acted very unimpressed.  But here was a
miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was.


The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence. The
universe is not an intellectual process at all.   The intellect is
helpful; it is brilliant, but right now that is all we process with,
instead of our hearts and the wiser part of ourselves.

The center of the earth is this great transmuter of energy, just
as you see in pictures of our earth's magnetic field.  That's
our cycle, pulling reincarnated souls back in and through it
again.   A sign that you are reaching human level is that you
are beginning to evolve an individual consciousness. 

The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group
souls.  A deer is pretty much going to be a deer forever.  But
just being born a human, whether deformed or genius, shows
that you are on the path to developing an individual
consciousness.  That is in itself part of the group
consciousness called humanity. 

I saw that races are personality clusters. Nations like France,
Germany and China each have their own personality.  Cities
have personalities, their local group souls that attract certain
people. Families have group souls.   Individual identity is
evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in
our individuality.  The different questions that each of us has
are very, very important.  This is how Godhead is exploring
God's Self - through you.  So ask your questions, do your
searching.  You will find your Self and you will find God in
that Self, because it is only the Self.

More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are
soul mates.  We are part of the same soul fractaling out in
many creative directions, but still the same.  Now I look at
every human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my
soul mate, the one I have always been looking for.   Beyond
that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself.

We are each both male and female.  We experience this in the
womb and we experience this in reincarnation states.  If you
are looking for that ultimate soul mate outside of yourself, you
may never find it;  it is not there.  Just as God is not "there". 
God is here.  Don't look "out there" for God.  Look here for
God.  Look through your Self. Start having the greatest love
affair you ever had ... with your Self.  You will love everything
out of that.

I had a descent into what you might call Hell, and it was very
surprising.  I did not see Satan or evil.  My descent into Hell
was a descent into each person's customized human misery,
ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing.  It seemed like a
miserable eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me
had a little star of light always available.  But no one seemed
to pay attention to it.  They were so consumed with their own
grief, trauma and misery.  But, after what seemed an eternity, I
started calling out to that Light, like a child calling to a parent
for help.

Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right
to me an insulated me from all that fear and pain.  That is
what Hell really is.  So what we are doing is learning to hold
hands, to come together. The doors of Hell are open now.  We
are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of Hell together. 
The Light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel. I
said, "Are you the angel of death?"  It expressed to me that it
was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient part
of ourselves.  Then I was taken to the Light.

Soon our science will quantify spirit.  Isn't that going to be
wonderful?  We are coming up with devices now that are
sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy.  Physicists use
these atomic colliders to smash atoms to see what they are
made of.  They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all
that.  Well, one day they are going to come down to the little
thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to
call that ... God.  

With atomic colliders they are not only seeing what is in
here, but they are creating particles.  Thank God most of them
are short-lived milliseconds and nanoseconds.  We are just
beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go
along.  As I saw forever, I came to a realm in which there is
a point where we pass all knowledge and begin creating the
next fractal, the next level.  We have that power to create as
we explore.  And that is God expanding itself through us.

Since my return I have experienced the Light spontaneously,
and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time
in my meditation.  Each one of you can do this.  You do not
have to die to do this. It is within your equipment; you are
wired for it already.  The body is the most magnificent Light
being there is.  The body is a universe of incredible Light. 
Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not what
is happening.  Stop trying to become God; God is becoming
you.  Here.

The mind is like a child running around the universe,
demanding this and thinking it created the world.  But I ask
the mind:  "What did your mother have to do with this?"
That is the next level of spiritual awareness.  Oh! my mother! 
All of a sudden you give up the ego, because you are not the
only soul in the universe.

One of my questions to the Light was "What is Heaven?" I
was given a tour of all the heavens that have been created: the
Nirvanas, the Happy Hunting Grounds, all of them. I went
through them. These are thought form creations that we have
created. We don't really go to heaven; we are reprocessed.

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