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The End          5/12/06



Remembering Your Soul Purpose/A Part Of Ascension is ready to order!  Click here for more information and to order.

“I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.” “What was all that New Age stuff about anyway? Why was I even into that?” “I don't give a ____ about anything anymore. What is the point of anything anyway?” “Wow. Am I ever lost!” “There is nothing to hold onto anymore! I feel like I am on a tightwire with no net!” “Where the hell am I? I feel like I am floating in space!” “Who am I and what am I doing here?” “Is it time to go home now?” “I just want a regular life. No more ‘spiritual' stuff.” “Nothing seems to have any meaning anymore.” “Where did everything and everybody go?” “ Is it over?


Have you been having any of these thoughts or feelings of late? Do you feel as though you are now on a very different planet with a very different purpose? That perhaps a large part of you has vanished to who knows where and you don't know what in the world you are supposed to be doing anymore?


May 2 marked the completion of a very important phase that began at the end of January. Even though we jumped over the threshold into the New World and the higher realms through reaching a critical mass in January, we still had to integrate and align. And because we are lightworkers, we did it for the whole planet. We are now done. We detoxed, purged, felt as though we did not want to be here anymore, as we had simply had quite enough, had wild dreams and nightmares, could not seem to manifest a thing, and now… we are done.


In December if 2004, the first wave of lightworkers had similar feelings to what many are feeling now. When we reach these milestones of completion, our purpose changes dramatically. We totally lose interest in making change or holding the light. But we had not yet reached critical mass, and so these brave and sturdy first wave soldiers had to hold on a bit longer.


So now, we have reached an important milestone again, but many more are having this experience. This is the big one. Holding the light and raising the vibration of the planet through ourselves is now no longer our purpose (well, it is, but it will be in a different way). Feeling like you have been fired and put out to pasture is certainly true, but we get to leave with a gold watch and a grand pension.


Although May 2 marked the big shift, it could be felt and experienced through a window of time before and after this date. Everyone is different with different timelines. Sudden losses and shocks to the system were part of this big turn around. Things and people were suddenly turning and going in a completely different direction. Many of our loved ones suddenly departed. Plans suddenly and very abruptly changed. This is because the energy suddenly changed. Those who were no longer required to be here, as the purpose of the planet was now different (more on that later), could now depart. Plans also changed because we now have a New and different purpose.


Trauma energy was also prevalent. This was due to the very sudden shift…but actually, it wasn't sudden. It had been building and was now just finally complete. This big change and shift could be felt by some “just because”, and by others through manifestations in the physical. Big changes that feel as though they were not planned by us can make us feel traumatized with a loss of control. We are only human and in human form. Although we may feel as though we did not plan some of these sudden changes, experiences, and losses, we are all in them at soul levels and truly do give our consent.


And the illusions are still being illuminated as well. All that was not real is being brought to the surface and will continue to be brought to the surface and revealed. Nothing can hide now. We are at a much higher vibration and things have to be very real. That straight shot of energy to get from here to there is the only way. The lower vibrations of rationalization, issues, manipulation, creating from a lower vibrational stance, and so forth, can absolutely no longer be. Creations, interactions, and experiences can only come from the highest purpose. No hidden agendas of self-serving needs and wants or certainly doing anything for the money, or to save and maintain oneself.


All that said, where in the world are we now? We are now is a very special space and pocket where we can just take a break and bask for a bit. As we are now done with a very challenging and intense phase, we get to breathe for awhile before the next phase. During this time, many of you may be in a space where your money supply is now coming to and end. Many have been taken care of through a money supply so that they could be free to embody and transmute the energies without having to go to jobs. But no worries, as all is in divine and perfect order, as always.


Even though you may be feeling as though you can't imagine how you will be supported now, you will see that you will. Even though you may feel as though you need to figure everything out in regard to your next step in financial support…you don't. If you can, take some time for yourself during this breather period and bask and relax. It will only last about a month, so enjoy it.


I just signed up for a stained glass class and a hand building pottery class. I am so excited, as I have always wanted to learn these things, and they will also have a dual purpose as well. As I will be going into building cob homes, this knowledge will be a great and fun part of the cob building process. Living in homes that are a part of the earth, that harmonize and totally integrate with the celestials, seasons and nature, and blend in totally with the environment, will be very much a part of the New World .


And a big part will also be building in alignment with the stargates so that we can be open to communing with our non-physical neighbors. I can hardly wait to begin and to show these ways to others! I have also been spending time on a near-by alpaca farm learning the ropes and communing with these beautiful creatures, as they will eventually be a part of my New family and community…and I am loving it! None of this is generating a dime, but I love what I am doing. And it will all serve a purpose, as I will explain later on. Remember, following your passion and joy, even if it does not make sense, always keeps you on the road you need to be on and opens up all the doors without any planning on your part. Your only job is to follow your heart.


So for the next month or so, if you possible can, do not worry about your money supply. Bask and enjoy yourself. Trust, trust, and trust some more. Know that basking and enjoying yourself will automatically place you in the higher vibrations and higher realms. If you can, try and do this because…


July is going to bring in a tidal wave of light that will knock our socks off and support us in every way. Our roles and purposes have indeed changed. Instead of “holding” the light, we will now be “showing” the light. This is why many of us are finally losing that extra weight because we are now no longer holding. Showing will involve sharing our creative passions. It will involve creating the higher ways is form. It will involve countless forms of expression. Remember, the original blueprint for the planet earth was that it be a playground for creation, expression, and experience.


The hard job is over. We now get to have fun. Follow your passion and that dream you have always had, and just watch as your supports begin to flow in around mid-summer. As the old world and old ways continue to deteriorate, our New ways for the New World will be bursting to come forth. Staying in the passion of your New creation and contribution will excuse you from the “how”. If you get stuck on the how, you will lower your vibration and possible deter any supports from coming your way. Remembering Your Soul Purpose explains a lot of this. Love what you are doing and stay there. It truly makes a difference!


I want to thank so many of you for your concerns, support, and inquiries about Aspen . You all make such a difference in my life. Your continued support of What's Up and your letters of gratitude make all the difference in creating the summoning that keeps me writing and absolutely completes and enhances my joy and purpose here. I feel so blessed to connect to you all, and expressing your gratitude always validates for me that I am on purpose. You make it all perfection. You are all truly amazing and I appreciate you so much.


Aspen came home on Tuesday! Last Friday, her non-physical star family came in and said that she had gotten over the hump and was now ready to embrace her New power. Truly a miracle as the neurologist had said there was very little hope. And then I began getting messages in all sorts of different forms that it would take time, but Aspy would eventually be fine. So, not surprisingly, when I spoke to Dr. Roe on Monday, she said that there had been improvement and that she was very encouraged.


Although she still has a very wiggy bladder and bowels, waking up to a furry cheek next to mine in the morning is sheer bliss! She has changed her energy (for the better), as that was her plan, but otherwise is a very happy, purring, vibrant and high vibrating four legged. What a joy to have her back. And checking in with her family, I was told not to meddle through any healing or energy work, as that would only serve to short circuit this very natural process. And this is the way with ascension. It does it all on its own in a very natural way. Healing and intervening only serves to disrupt an already beautiful process.


Are you ready to relax, let go, bask and enjoy your New freedom for awhile? Have you finally come to know that you no longer have any responsibilities? Are you ready for your gold watch?




Wishing you Heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times. Until next time,



The Big "Turn Around"              5/4/06



There has been much occurring energetically in the past few days. This message, then, will be more lengthy than usual. So if some of it doesn't quite peak your interest, there may be other parts further along that do, as it is multifaceted.


We have just experienced a big turn around and it is affecting us in great, deep, and beautiful ways. In the January 1 st message, I mentioned that this would be the year of manifestation as well as the year of the humanitarian. And both are finally arriving. We have come to higher levels of vibration and purpose in the past few months and days. These New and higher ways were specifically “set up” at our highest levels to train us and allow us to now embody more of our New roles.


The losses many of us are experiencing are part of this training. There are a few scenarios going on. Many are experiencing losses of loved ones in human and animal form. If you have recently lost a loved one, most likely it is because they have not chosen to stay on this higher vibrating planet. Our loving animals, family members, and friends who have been with us for a long time are suddenly leaving. This is because they have been holding the vibration of the old “us” and we are now a “new” us. They are taking all the old with them when they depart. They are also, then, not vibrating high enough for this New World (as our “old selves” are not), and have then chosen to go higher, but in the non-physical. They no longer match our New vibration so they are departing and taking our old selves and old parts of us with them.


Losing a loved one places us in a space that is a great gift, if we choose to accept it. When we grieve, we have an open heart. Much can come up, but it is all designed for our evolutionary growth into this next important phase we are approaching. It is very difficult to watch a loved one suffer. This is also part of our next phase, which involves the suffering we will be seeing. We needed to come to terms and be at peace with suffering if we are going to be able to fulfill part of our New roles.


Losing a loved one also makes us step back and really examine our lives. It greatly helps us in becoming clear about what is truly important to us and what we really want our lives to be about. It makes much of everything else seem trivial at best. Stepping back and really tweaking what we want, down to the last detail, is extremely relevant now as we are heading into our roles as way-showers.


Feeling helpless while watching suffering and loss is also an important part of the process. We need to come to a place where we know our power, own it, and are extremely comfortable demanding what we know is right and at the highest levels. We are going to need to be very demanding, sure of what we want, and not be afraid to express our desires for the New World .


Know that for those of you having this experience of loss, all in divine right order…even the suffering. We will not be the same when it is over. We will be different and much, much stronger.


But here is another scenario regarding loss and suffering. I have a cat named Aspen who is 8 months old. When she first came to me, she was a few weeks old, had been found lost and alone, and I needed to hand feed her with an eye-dropper. But she greatly thrived. I immediately checked in with her star family, and they told me that she had come to me as one of the teachers for the New World representing the animal kingdom. We would be working side-by-side bring forth the energies of the New.


Being part Siamese, Aspen was a real go-getter with a huge amount of energy and very intelligent. She wanted to be part of everything and therefore, I invited her to become a part of all my projects…even my daily shower! She was running a lot of energy and had not yet mastered it or learned to use it in an appropriate way. This manifested as her being quite aggressive, swaying her little behind when she walked, and pushing my other cat Ahmee out of her cat bed and away from her food bowl so that she could be there.


So what finally happened? Last Wednesday she was hit by a car. The wheel from the car trapped and crushed her tail, forcefully yanking it from her body. Although still intact, her tail was paralyzed and she lost functioning in her hind legs, her bladder and some of her intestinal functioning. And she was in a lot of pain.


I tell you this scenario as it is a good example of the current energies and really exemplifies that all is always in divine right order. By Friday morning I was able to find a new vet only 45 minutes away. Aspen stayed for a day, was placed on antibiotics and steroids, and I took her home knowing that I was going to have to express her bladder, as she could not do it on her own.


So happy to have her home again, I had also been told by her star family that she was going through initiation as she needed to balance her energies and learn to use them in an appropriate way if she was going to be able to fulfill her purpose. “Don't you think that's a little extreme?!” my daughter wailed from North Carolina . Well, this is how it is at soul levels. I was also told that this was Aspen 's journey, not mine, and that I was taking on all of her experience and pain. Aspen would need to be in a physical position that would train her in better and more balanced ways to use her gifts, talents, and energies. She would remain in this state until she had finally and successfully integrated these new ways. I speak of this at greater length in my book The Ascension Primer , as so many of us have undergone the same experience ourselves.


None-the-less, I am a human and I shed enough tears to fill a river and keep it flowing. “I don't care!” I would shout at her beautiful star family as they stood in my living room. “She is suffering and this totally sucks!” As I watched her listless body lay there all of Sunday, I was simply unable to express her bladder and watching blood seeping out of her, I finally simply gave up and surrendered. I had been sleeping on the kitchen floor with her and doing all my computer work down on the floor with her as well. And here is another very important piece.


We cannot wear all the hats . If you are one who has read Remembering Your Soul Purpose , you will know what I am referring to. We each have a specific purpose and contribution, and when refined through the ascension process, this specific purpose is ours to do. We cannot do everyone else's thing in addition to our own. So I called in the non-physicals and said “enough”. This part was about me more than Aspen. Within one minute at 7:45 in the morning, the phone rang and it was my vet. She proceeded to tell me that she had been thinking a lot about Aspen , wanted to board her and do more tests, and had also consulted other vets and all her medical books.


We have since become friends, and I am helping her with some grant writing she wants to learn about for a non-profit she is passionate about and involved with. Aspen has been there for several days, has greatly improved (although she is still unable to eliminate on her own), my vet calls me morning noon and night, drops everything when I call, and has most recently consulted with a neurologist. But as of today with the recent consult, the prognosis is very poor. We are waiting until Monday, and then we may have to put her to sleep.


But this time, as I most recently spoke to Dr. Roe while out and about, with tears streaming down my face as I ran some errands, I knew that everything was in order and was finally at peace with it. Aspen would either have a miraculous recovery and we would do our service work together, or she will accompany me in spirit. If she survives, she will have to have her tail amputated. And if I feel distraught at the thought of her being confined in a kennel for a week, I now know that all of this is a very important part of her process of balancing her energy. This is why it is so vitally important not to continually “save” everyone and everything as we would then be meddling in a divine soul process.


So what does all this illuminate?


Suffering is part of a higher process. We cannot suffer along with everything else or we would be diminishing our own power and only increasing the suffering energy.


We cannot wear all the hats and take all the responsibility for everything ourselves. If we feel powerless in certain situations, it is because this is not our area of expertise or our hat to wear. It is not ours to do.


We will always be united even if our loved ones are not in the physical with us. My grandmother passed away in August and I speak to her very regularly. She pops in when I least expect it.


Our long standing and lower vibrating loved ones are going to other realities by higher level choice. We are still united, then, as they will then be vibrating higher as we are. Those beings that are staying will adjust and align with the higher vibrations (through experiences like Aspen 's), while others who do not will be departing.


But there is much more to the latest training we are undergoing. Within the past few days, we have had a turn around. It involves a few things.


We are needing to once again tweak our purpose and desires. You may have gotten started with your new role and purpose, and then suddenly some glitches arrive. This is because of the latest turn around energy. The turn around energy has brought in a higher level for us and therefore, moved us into higher levels of our New roles along with an even more defined purpose. The glitches are only serving as a stop sign in order to make us very aware of what we truly want and what it really needs to look like in all ways.


In addition, we cannot really unite and connect with aspects of the old world if we are to be bringing in very new realities. Banking situations can be frustrating as they no longer fit the new ways. The old cannot really be a vehicle to fuel us into our new purpose…in other words, our supports need to be from a higher way. And this scenario greatly ties in with our New roles as well.


It is time for lightworkers to come forth and introduce the higher vibrating ways of living and being. What this means is that we will be taking matters into our own hands. We will be supporting each other in bringing forth the New supports. One person's passion, purpose, and role will perfectly intertwine in supporting another person's purpose and role. We will need to begin to create the New and greatly unite with others in this way. We will need to do it ourselves.


Our New teams are also arriving as well. As we cannot wear all the hats, the New supports in the form of New individuals arriving in our lives are rapidly beginning to reveal themselves.


And here's yet another piece. During the past several weeks, we have been receiving glimmerings of the humanitarian energy. If you are one who has experienced loss and also received compassion and assistance as well, this was part of the training and all in divine order. We will be needing to go out into the stepping stone world and assist in loving and compassionate ways. Although I have said many times that after we raise our vibrations enough, it can become difficult to stay “down there” for long, but if we are in a state of compassion and deep caring, our vibration stays up and we can then be there a bit longer as needed.


So then, you may have been feeling overwhelming urges to do humanitarian work. Having experienced losses, this then places us in a space of really embodying an appropriate energy for assisting in these arenas. As we have gone through these experiences ourselves, we are then able to be them, and this is what is needed.


Part of the role of a lightworker is being a human angel. The ascension process is designed to create a higher vibrating human who eventually evolves even higher than our current angels or non-physical beings. So now, we are approaching our New roles as human angels. In the times to come, there will be much disruption and chaos, as well as suffering. Our roles as human angels will be needed. This is all part of a higher level plan…all is in order.


So because of this latest turn around, bringing us into higher ways of being, we are now being turned to face our very New roads and to get on them. This is a time to really fine tune what you want. You can literally write down everything in great detail according to what you believe things should look like for you. No need to worry about the “how”. Your purpose and passion is all that is needed. And being forced to step back and really examine things has greatly helped with this process.


How will things begin to unfold and what will this next phase look like? You may have felt most recently that something in your life has completed itself. You may feel quite “done”. As if your life has ended and you are through, or perhaps that you have just retired. What this is about is the loss of a big part of the old you. You are coming into New power. You have left a suffering and victim aspect of yourself behind, never to return again. You will not be able to tolerate hoops to jump through, waiting upon someone else's decision about anything that affects you greatly, or any other aspects of placing yourself in a powerless position.


We are in charge now and need to command what we need. It is not up to anything in the old world. It is up to us. Time to charge ahead and create the New precisely the way we say it should be created.


For me, I really had to examine what I wanted to do next. Was I serving the best through the energy alerts and books? I needed more and I knew something great and vast was at hand. Although I will continue to write as before, I am taking on a very New project. I will be totally engrossing myself in learning cob house building. All my life I have seen myself doing humanitarian work in third world countries. Teaching others to build a cob house from elements of the earth is directly in line with absolutely everything for me. As I reveal this scenario to you, I know you will see a similar scenario for yourself as well.


Setting up the New communities here on Earth involves living in total harmony and alignment with all of the cosmos and with the earth herself. Totally sustainable, New (or old) Earth living also involves alignment with the seasons and the planets and the planetary movements. The sun needs to do its job and support these ways of living, as does the moon and even the breezes. The star beings have been assisting too, and they are really savvy about creating openings or stargates through alignments so that they can enter and commune with us too.


Building this New home on a perfectly placed piece of land here in a specially aligned spot in the White Mountains of Arizona, will be a beginning. This will be a sacred place or home in the higher realms. But it also ties in with the humanitarian aspect. In the months and years to come, we will experience Earth changes and much chaos and disaster. My greatest passion now is bringing these ways to areas that have experienced great loss.


In areas that have experienced great loss, people are very open to receiving the New. This is how ascension works. We find ourselves in situations through experience where we have had to let go of so much and are now very willing to accept something New and different. In addition, we need to rebuild in a higher way. And these homes empower people as they can build them on their own for the most part, and they cost very little. No more need to depend upon outside supports of electricity or anything else. And all of the ingredients for building come directly from the earth, as it should be.


So we will be living in the higher realms in higher ways of being and then going back to the stepping stone world to do our humanitarian work. Our time of being on computers and phones and spending much time “talking” about things is at an end. It is time to move forward…to now be the human angels that go back to the lower dimensions for awhile to assist, and then come back home to the higher realms.


Are you ready?


Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times,




Time To "Bring Forth"       4/28/06




Wow! Where do I begin? The recent break in the energy is continuing on and manifesting all kinds of wonderful and miraculous things. Like a dam breaking, the waters are pouring forth at last. We are out of ascension and readiness jail, out of the dark hole of aligning and preparing, and finally beginning to receive our newly arriving pieces in great abundance before we move ahead.


The best news so far is most appropriate for we lightworkers who carry the vain gene: The weight is finally dropping off! That extra weight mostly around our mid-sections is leaving for another destination at last. Do I get to go back to my size 8 after two years; from that strange and uncharacteristic size 12? I do believe so, and there is good reason. And it all has to do with the New destination for the weight, so to speak (smile).


The supports and clarity are moving in, in regard to the pieces for our New roles. Everything that we had to leave behind is finally being replaced. This was another deep, intense and at times challenging time as we prepared ourselves for our New roles. 2006 is still the year of manifestation, but we could not begin to manifest until we were very much in alignment with what we would be doing and manifesting.


We have come far this year, examined much within ourselves, released much in the way of people, jobs, residences, and even body toxins. We have had wild dreams at night, night sweats, times of no sleeping, and times of deep sleeping. Our old lives and roles have come to and end and we have grieved all the losses that finally seeing the illusions created. We have felt futile, exhausted and perhaps even questioned our faith in the whole thing.


So now what? One of the reasons that many of us put on that extra weight, which would not budge no matter what we did, was because we were holding the New and higher energies within us. And now we do not need to hold them any longer. It is time to release these higher energies and ways into the world…and these pieces that are arriving for us are coming to support us in doing just that.


What are you here to teach? What are you here to create? What are you about? What are you here to contribute through your passion, gifts, and talents? What will be your role in bringing these higher ways out into the world?


For all of us, these shifts, New blueprints, and energies affect us at basically the same time, but there is still room for some variance in the time frames. For some, their New changes are well on the way and for others, they are still in between. If you are one who is in between, you may very likely be feeling quite lost right about now.


When we disconnect from one reality before we move into another, we can feel displaced and disoriented. This in between space can also manifest at lower levels and feeling ignored, useless and very alone. When we are still in between we have simply not connected yet with the New.


Another scenario that is becoming quite prevalent is the separation between higher and lower vibrations in regard to relationships, business, and all much else. For example: I know I have mentioned this before, but there is only love and genuine straight shooting energy in the higher realms. There is now occurring a great separation between what is real and what is not.


Love and deep caring are genuine and real in the higher realms. Relationships are not based upon hidden agendas, needs or give and get. As the vibrational levels rise, any relationships that are not of this genuine base become blatantly obvious and can feel downright horrible. Are any of your friends caring only about themselves? Do your service providers (banks, doctors, stores, etc.) only care about themselves or money? Are you suddenly seeing things or people for what they really were and what the connections were really about? Deep respect, a genuine caring and concern for others, and much of anything heartfelt comes from the higher realms. Good manners, being polite and doing the right thing because we are supposed to do not. And of course there is also the ego connection. The more ego, the less Source. Those operating from ego become very obvious as well…but in addition, those operating from love and caring become very obvious too.


Most of the old ways and old structures were based upon the lower vibrating ways of survival and they are now rapidly falling apart and blowing up. Last night my very close companion and best friend Aspen was hit by a car. Although she is a cat, I never saw her that way. Trying to find a vet here in the middle of nowhere that would see her after hours was near impossible. After what seemed like a thousand phone calls, a vet an hour and a half away agreed to see her. So much of it was about the money or about being bothered. We do not have a vet here in my small town because they can make much more money elsewhere. Although Aspen 's star family came in and explained her health situation to me, there was still not a human who seemed to care.


With this glaring separation becoming more and more evident, it is very surely paving the way for us to bring in the higher ways. People have to be ready for change. People have to be willing and strongly desiring what feels so much better to arrive. We know the higher ways and now it is very surely time to introduce them. When we are willing to let go of the old, a New and better anything can then arrive.


And when the New arrives, it almost always comes into our awareness without any looking on our part. If we intend that we want something better and do not accept anything else, the New usually arrives in due time. Many times it was right under our noses and we were simply focusing elsewhere. If we can get out of our rational and analytical minds and be open to anything with no judgment, who knows what surprises may arrive! (Short message this time…I'm still in cat grieving mode.)


Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times,





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