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Conflicts in Relationships

St. Francis through Anina Davenport 

Many of you have had conflicts in the last months. This was part of the clearing. As frequency raises around you and in your cells old thoughts, beliefs, energies are released. Sometimes this affects your relationships.  What is hidden comes up.  A problem not released before, old resentment, jealousy, whatever it is.

As much as possible try to process it yourself, then talk to the other person. What appears outside might mirror something inside.  The realization that Bob does not respect your time and energy can lead you to explore if you respect your time and energy.   Do you?   If you do you can set very clear boundaries with Bob.   If he still comes late to an appointment you can respond appropriately.   Leave earlier or not make another appointment.   We suggest you tell Bob clearly what your intention is for example it might be:  ďI want to meet from nine to ten.  I will leave at ten.Ē

Many people these days have trouble staying centered. The power of the new energies can throw you.  Some of you have practiced centering for many years and radiating peace is part of your job description.  You do so in cafes, airports, restaurants even shopping malls.  You do not force yourself to radiate peace.  It happens naturally as a result of your meditation, your spiritual practice.  You can help others just by being.

Your happiness does not depend on another person.  This is part of the lesson that is learned right now.  It is a tricky lesson because it does not mean you need to be stoic or detached in a way that denies your emotions.  There is something called true detachment.  That means you are centered in spirit.  You are true to yourself, your true self.  You do not get thrown around by the whirlpool of emotions.  You see others with compassion but you do not get dragged into an emotional roller coaster.  You stay clear.  You stay centered.  You breathe.  You feel the joy of your being even if you are sad or moved by anotherís problems.

Then there is false detachment.  You are proud.  You feel above others and you look down on their petty problems.  You cannot be bothered.  You get angry when approached and you suppress your true emotions.  You act stoic, detached but in truth you are just covering up.  You are covering up your own sense of vulnerability and insecurity.  Another form of false detachment is the, ďIím fine,Ē defense.  ďAll this happened but Iím fine.  Iím tough.  No, this does not bother me.  Iím above anger, sadness, jealousy or frustration.  I am calm, serene.Ē   In both cases emotions will be boiling underneath.  You will project them onto your body by creating stomach aches or breathing problems or you will project them onto others.  ďSo and so is angry,Ē or ďso and so does not love me.Ē

False detachment is not loving, not to yourself and not to others.  So what do you do?  You write down what you feel.  You become honest with yourself.  You feel your feelings.  Then you donít have to project them onto others.  You can relax, let go, breathe.  Sometimes angry people who appear in your life can remind you of some anger that is within.  Maybe it is something old that you have not looked at for many years.  Sometimes there just happen to be angry people in your life and you need to figure out how to deal with them.

So how do you resolve conflicts?   Sometimes you can and sometimes you cannot.   This is one of the secrets of finding peace in life.   Sometimes you cannot resolve a conflict with another.   Your sister Maggie might stay angry at you for the rest of your life no matter how many olive branches you hold out.  Or maybe her personality and yours do not fit so the best you can do is agree to disagree.  Some people are very emotional, others very detached.  That often creates conflict.   But if you are at the first stages of resolving conflict start with getting clear on what you want.  What do you want from this person?  What are you not willing to give?  Is there a compromise or do you feel put upon?   Investigate.   Ask yourself questions.  Write it down.  Become clear what is going on for you.  Is there an old pattern repeating itself that has nothing to do with the other person?   Is there some old anger coming up?   Clearing possibly?

Next tell the person what you want and how you see the situation.   Then ask him or her how he or she sees the situation.   Have a neutral talk.   Donít get into solutions yet.   Have a talk.   Be open to suggestions, to different ways of looking at things. 

Then intend Highest Good for both of you. You are now in a process.  The conflict will be resolved or the relationship will end or maybe continue in a more stressful way.  Sometimes there are practical reasons why a relationship continues even though it is difficult.   Financial reasons, children or a neighbor that does not go away.   You need to deal with this.   Relax.   Breathe.   Be honest and go deep within to draw on your inner resources. Sometimes you have no idea how things will unfold. All you can do is center, relax, breathe and intend Highest Good. Keep saying,   ďI intend Highest Good between me and MarthaĒ  or whatever the personís name is.   Whenever you think of Martha see the words Highest Good.   Keep intending that the Highest probable solution will be found.   You donít know what that is.   It could be more conflict.   It could be a resolution.   It could be the dissolution of the relationship.   If you hold onto what you think the solution should be you create pain for yourself. ďWe should be friends,Ē you might think.   Well, you have no control over that.   None.

ďI will be okay either way whether the relationship continues or stops.  Ē That is a good thing to tell yourself because it is true. Now you might cry or have a tantrum if things donít go the way you want but eventually you will be okay.   You can decide to be okay. ďI will be okay.Ē Tell yourself that often.   It is a truth.   Even if you fall off a cliff tomorrow and die you will be okay.   Your guides will be there, old friends from the other side will come.   It will be okay.

As you detach from the relationship you can be more effective in bringing in clarity.   If you are too afraid to say the truth the relationship will die at some point.   It might continue but it will feel dead.   Truth is the spark that gives a relationship life.   If it gets buried the relationship will become dead.   It might continue as a twenty year marriage where you donít talk to each other but energetically it will be dead.

Detachment does not mean you are harsh or uncaring or let your anger run wild.   It means if you feel led by your Higher Self to say something that is true for you, you do it even if the other person might become angry or leave. You will be okay.

Questioner: So I have no control over my relationships?

Saint Francis: No, but you have control over yourself. You can be centered or as centered as possible.  You can keep your energy clear or as clear as possible.  You can practice the tools we give in our book Energetic Empowerment or other tools such as mantra meditations and breathing exercises for example.  You can use intent to add light to the situation.  But you cannot control it.

Questioner: So I have no control?

Saint Francis: Over the other person?  No.

Questioner: But I can ask for what I want?

Saint Francis: Most certainly. And write down what you want.   Get clear on that.   Also look at why you want A, B or C from the person. Investigate if you would be fine without it.   We can give you the answer: you would.   But this whole process of inquiry is very important.

Questioner: Why is it important?

Saint Francis: Because you are learning about yourself.   Through the relationship and the difficulties that are coming up in the relationship you are learning about yourself. But donít try to learn the other personís lesson. Stay away from that.

Questioner: How do you mean?

Saint Francis: Let us say a man rejects a woman because she is not thin enough in his mind.   She feels fine with her weight.   She is healthy and happy with it.   When the man says, ďI donít know why it is so hard for me to accept your body,Ē then the womanís best response is, ďI donít know either.  Ē She recognizes that this is his problem and his lesson and a therapist would be more appropriate in helping him than her input.

Another example: a friend is jealous because you have a good career or a happy marriage.   She has to resolve it.   Your feeling bad about a successful career or a happy home is not the answer.   Be compassionate but also separate.   Center as much as possible.   Breathe.   Relax and enjoy your life.   Our love is with all of you.

Saint Francis.

 Copyright Anina Davenport.

Creativity and Dreams

St. Francis through Anina Davenport

We want to talk about the role of Creativity in creating in alignment with Soul or creating your Highest Good whatever phrase you prefer.  Now the most important thing about creating in alignment is that the energy flows.  Stuck energy creates feelings of paralysis, density, depression, disease and so on.  Creativity or doing something creative whatever that may be for you (and it can be reorganizing closets) lets you breathe and release old energy.  Whenever you move and do something from an impulse from your Soul you create space for yourself.  You move forward, you relax, you release, you let go.  Questions?

Questioner: So when I paint I free energy in myself?

St. Francis: Correct.  You get an impulse to paint.  You see inner pictures, colors, you have an idea.  Different scenarios form in your mind: a woman with flowers for example.  Or a house with flowers.  Or a woman with a house with flowers.  Whatever the picture is that you start to get you now get out your paint, your canvas and you start painting. The energy flows. The pictures start to move onto the canvas.  The idea materializes.  It creates a great movement in your energy system.  A path is created.  An energy path of manifesting pictures onto canvas.  Now while you are painting and creating some old energy gets thrown up as well.  Excuse our analogy but have you ever had a good flu where later you felt cleared and clean so to speak?  Where the mucus threw out all kinds of old toxins and where your body got a good spring cleaning, a good scrubbing?  Itís a bit like that.  Also movement is very important.  Movement of energy.  Physical exercise can help.  Mentally keeping your mind clear is important and in terms of emotional health a good cry is a good thing every once in a while. When you are creative you move.  You move energy.

Questioner: After I paint I often feel very good but at times stuff comes up.

St. Francis: Well, for you painting brings in new light. There is an infusion of light and that then stirs up old energies.

Questioner: Yes, at times I think about my childhood when I paint.

St. Francis: Tell us more.

Questioner: Well, it just seems to drift by me like a movie. I donít feel too attached because I am busy with painting. In a way I feel I release things.

St. Francis: That is very good.

Questioner: Saint Francis, I am writing a novel.

St. Francis: Yes?

Questioner: The characters appear just out of nowhere. There is some similarity to people I know but there are also differences. Where do those characters come from? My writing teacher said it was my imagination but Iím not sure what that means.

St. Francis: Now in terms of novels there are many sources. Now for you they come from a pretty high place but they can also come from negative places.

Questioner: What kind of negative places?

St. Francis: Well worst case scenario is they can be channeled by a negative entity. If your characters give you nightmares and that happens to some writers it can be a not so positive force giving you these ideas. It can also be suppressed material of your unconscious and the writing can be cathartic by providing release to your shadow side so to speak. Now in your case you have some pretty high-level guides channeling you the rudimentary structure and your own self is filling in some of the process.

Questioner: Would it be like a painting whose outline is there?

St. Francis: Yes, but you can make some changes. It is very helpful to you this writing. It soothes your system, gives you an outlet and answers some of your questions.

Questioner: A friend of mine has read part of my novel and finds it soothing as well.

St. Francis: Correct. That is part of its purpose. To soothe.

Questioner: What else?

St. Francis: To soothe, to entertain, to stimulate the readerís mind. To get him to think about issues he would not have thought about. To provide insights or let us put it this way: ways of looking at certain issues, Ďaspects of truthí we like to call it.

Questioner: I have three kids and no time to be creative.

St. Francis: Number one parenting is creative or can be if you take it seriously. Also are there some creative things you can do with your kids?

Questioner: Like painting?

St. Francis: Yes, for example. Or reading stories, making up stories, cooking, gardening.

Questioner: Yes you are right.

St. Francis: Everyone is different. Everyone needs different outlets. What is one personís pleasure is another personís nightmare. So find out what is right for you. One time where all of you are creative is during night in dream time.  If you have suppressed energy during the day night is the time to release it. You create stories at night where you can release old emotions for example. Maybe you cry old tears. Often in dreams you can be who you really want to be or become more aware of your fears if you suppress them. Dreams are very important.

Questioner: I have heard they did studies where they kept people from dreaming and they went almost crazy.

St. Francis: Yes, because the safety valve was gone. Dreams are a safety valve. They release energy that builds up during the day.

Questioner: My teacher said I donít need to dream.

St. Francis: If you face everything right now then dreaming is not necessary from that perspective but dreams serve many functions. For example in dreams you often try out new things or situations. Let us say you are thinking about moving. You have selected a house in another neighborhood. Now in dream time you go over there. You investigate the neighborhood. You spend some time in the house and you check out its energy more closely. Then you wake up. Letís say you donít remember the dream but later at lunch you think, ďI donít really want to move to this house.Ē You think, ďThis is strangeĒ while you are munching on your sandwich. ďYesterday I was still pretty excited about this.Ē Well, you changed your mind. You explored the energies, the probabilities, the neighborhood in your dreams and decided it was not a good match for you.

Questioner: What other functions do dreams have?

St. Francis: There is in psychology a field called psychodrama. You play out a role in a drama that you create with other actors. You play out for example a scene from your childhood. Peter might play your father, Molly your mother, Martha your sister. You do that to look at an issue. Maybe you switch roles and play your Dad for a little while to see how the whole scenario looked from his point of view. Or you change your role. Letís say you were an angry teenager. Now you try to be more understanding or you let your sadness show. Or if you were super quiet you play a more assertive or verbal character. You do the same in dream time. You create scenarios for yourself to learn from those.

Questioner: It is cheaper than therapy.

St. Francis: Yes, now a good therapist can help you learn much from psychodrama especially if you are rigid. It is very helpful to switch roles and see things from anotherís point of view.

Now another category are dreams about the future. There are times where your future self speaks to you.

Questioner: I thought we had many probable futures.

St. Francis: Alright. There are times where one of your future selves speaks to you. Hopefully it is one of your Highest Good probable futures. Like a rope that can lift you up and help you climb your Self comes at times to give you a lift, a clue, a bit of energy to help you jump over obstacles. Often that happens in dream time. You get in touch with a probability or are told something will work out or wonít work out. You are asked to change course or stay with what you are doing.

Questioner: Are other peopleís future selves involved?

St. Francis: Yes, usually projects or situations involve other people. So in such a dream you tune into a probability, a probable outcome and get information, feedback from that.

Questioner: I donít need to be in dream time to do that.

St. Francis: No, you donít but dream time is one way to do it. To play out scenarios, connect to your future self, get general feedback.

Questioner: What else do dreams do?

St. Francis: They help you to heal physically. Let us say you have not exercised enough. You broke your foot for example. In dream time you can run. That will help emit certain chemicals necessary to keep you fluid and keep the memory of movement alive in your body. It will stimulate your mind towards the possibility of healing. ďSoon I will run again,Ē it will think. Your soul uses dream time to give you messages, show you things. Teach you new tools even. Many of you learned about de-cording in dream time. Paula (name changed) you had an interesting dream.

Questioner: Yes I did. I dreamed that someone tried to cord to me and give me his feelings of depression and fear and I took a blowtorch and burned the cord. In the morning I felt free as if I had burned some other old cords through which I carried his stuff.

St. Francis: You did and that was a good example of practicing a tool in dream time. So how does creativity factor into this? First of all dreams are creative. Dreaming is a creative endeavor. Secondly dream time can support your creative endeavors. For example you can evolve one of the characters in your novel during dream time and then in the morning when you get up you can just start writing. You already have an inkling about what will happen. You sit down and let the show roll.

Questioner: Do characters evolve on their own?

St. Francis: Yes they do. Characters have lessons just like you do. Challenges, pain to overcome, achievements, losses. They mirror the life you and others lead.

Questioner: Do they come from my unconscious?

St. Francis: No, for you they come from your soul level. Now some unconscious feelings are being made aware but the character itself is created by your soul and manifested on paper by you. They are there for you to learn something and of course your readers can benefit as well.

Questioner: What about those horror novels? Where do the characters come from?

St. Francis: Now some of it can come from archetypal fears that all of humanity shares. In this way such horror novel can have some cathartic value but if it just scares you and gives you nightmares it is not a good thing for you. Sometimes dark forces virtually channel such a book and you will have dark force energy in the book and maybe later also in the movie version. Stay alert to what you open yourself to. That is all we will say about this.

So we do not want to impede your creativity by too much fear. If you are careful and know when to be open and when to close yourself you will be fine.

Questioner: I think some dark characters are important or the book will be boring.

St. Francis: Let us put it this way. Depth is important. If people only smile and say nice things and no one struggles or has to face some demons yes, it will be not just boring but unrealistic as well. But, in our opinion, the shaded character is much more interesting than those that are all good or all bad. You need depth, faults, accomplishments, failure, the whole shebang so to speak.

Questioner: Characters need to struggle.

St. Francis: Go on.

Questioner: Well, I like my characters to wrestle with real life issues.

St. Francis: Yes.

Questioner: But I also want to incorporate in my book what you have taught us how to approach life with more ease and not let it get so crazy.

St. Francis: Yes.

Questioner: How do I do this?

St. Francis: You let your character do it. You say, ďOkay Mark or Robert or whatever your characterís name is now wants to live a life that is more sane. How can he do that?Ē Let him struggle with that.

Questioner: My character has a tumultuous relationship.

St. Francis: Do you have a tumultuous relationship?

Questioner: No, I used to.

St. Francis: Let Mark your character figure out how to either change his relationship to be more sane or let him meet someone new.

Questioner: I donít like his present girl-friend.

St. Francis: (amused) You donít have to like your novel characters. In fact it is good to bring in some that you donít like. But you like the main character?

Questioner: Yes I do but Iím afraid if he is too sane it is boring.

St. Francis: We agree you need dysfunction. That is easy to do. Just look around at the world. Now what we are suggesting is for your character Mark to learn how to deal with dysfunction in some way. There will always be dysfunction even in monasteries there is dysfunction. People take their personalities with them. You cannot leave the world but you can transform it inside.

Questioner: Okay. Thank you very much. I think I just got unstuck with my book.

St. Francis: You are welcome.


 Anina Davenport is the author of Reflections on Ascension and her new book Energetic Empowerment. Both books are channeled and available from Amazon.com. Energetic Empowerment can also be ordered from IUniverse at  IUniverse.com or by calling 1-800-AUTHORS. Anina  can be reached at aninadavenport@earthlink.net.

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